Waiting and the Goodness of God
Acts 1
Here we go… Are you ready to start working our way through Acts? (I think I am :) )
On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 1:4-5 NIV)
Raise your hand if you like to wait.
Is your hand up?
Mine isn’t.
I’m not a fan of waiting. Patience is not my strong suit.
Waiting can be frustrating. Waiting can make me antsy. Waiting can make me question. And waiting is what jumped out at me when I was studying the first chapter of Acts because that’s where Luke begins the sequel to his gospel – with the followers of Jesus waiting.
Why were they waiting? Because Jesus had said to wait.
Where were they waiting? In Jerusalem
What were they waiting for? The gift the Father had promised, aka the Holy Spirit
God had a job for these disciples to do, and they needed God’s power to complete it.
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8 NIV)
And they were to wait for this gift of power in Jerusalem.
You’ll notice that they’re not given any time frame for how long to wait. They’re just told to wait in Jerusalem for the gift of the Holy Spirit. And then, Jesus leaves. Not just down the street or to the next town over. No, He leaves earth and returns to heaven. No further instructions.
So they followed the instructions they had and returned to Jerusalem and waited. But they did not just sit and wait, doing nothing. They were constantly in prayer, and they took it upon themselves, based on scripture, to select a replacement for Judas Iscariot.
They were busy in their waiting.
I think there’s some truth here for us, but I don’t know if I can explain it so that you can see it in the same way I did when it settled into my mind or not. But, I’ll try.
You see, this picture of them waiting got me thinking: What if they had not waited? What if they had been impatient and had gone out to share the very exciting news about Jesus’ resurrection rather than waiting for the Holy Spirit?
Well, then, they’d be out there “working for God” in their own power. And actually, in this case, they’d be out there “working for God” and sinning by doing so, since they were not doing what Jesus had told them to do.
How often do I push ahead on an idea and try to beat it into the shape that I want it to be in on my own power? Are there times when I get impatient and stop waiting? When I try to force the results of my efforts to show up NOW?
Resting in the goodness of God is not always easy for me to do. You see resting in His goodness means trusting that He is good and that His timing is best – even when it is not my timing. That’s a hard one for me. Really hard.
But I don’t want to be out here doing my thing in my own power. I want to work with God. I want His Holy Spirit to be my power. I want to remain in my place and not step out of it. And so I must learn to wait.
As a westerner, that word wait makes me think of sitting on a bench and watching for the bus to arrive to take me wherever it is that I need to go. But just recently, I read a post on Facebook about one of the Hebrew words used for wait. It’s the one that shows up in the verse about waiting on the Lord and renewing our strength. (I love that verse!) I wish I could give you all the details and cite this properly, but I can’t. I can only tell you what I remember, and that is that this word for wait has the idea of twisting strands together to make a rope. It’s an active waiting. A waiting in which I bind myself tighter and tighter to God. A waiting in which I develop a more intimate relationship with Christ.
I guess I’ve had a bit of life experience with this recently as I have struggled over the past couple of years with post-viral issues. I’ve wanted things to happen faster – for my brain to be able to do what it used to do now, not later, for my nervous system to learn to switch back and forth between states of action and peace immediately, to be able to go on long walks, attend church in person rather than virtually, and take vacations without ending up sick and in bed for days, to be able to go to the store and not come home completely drained and feeling puke-y, for so many of the symptoms and issues to be healed in an instant.
It hasn’t happened that way. I’ve been working daily on these issues for over two years. And still, things are not all back to normal. I’ve seen progress – some really good progress. I mean the times when I haven’t had enough energy to be able to move thoughts from my brain to my mouth and could only cry in frustration are pretty much behind me. I still search for words at times, but I haven’t had to answer a question by just shaking my head without being able to speak as tears ran down my cheeks in over a year. At this point in time, my brain doesn’t hurt nearly as much or as often as it has in the past. And I’ve actually seen my nervous system respond quickly to calming techniques recently. There is progress. It’s just slow. It’s just not following my timeline for when things should happen. There’s been a lot of waiting.
But that waiting hasn’t been me sitting still or lying in bed (although those activities have been part of it at times because there was nothing else I could do). It’s been a busy waiting period. I’ve grown so much in my understanding of my body, my emotions, how my system responds to things, what techniques work with my system, etc. I’ve also grown in my understanding of and my relationship with God. I’ve been binding myself to Him during this time. I’ve had many discussions with Him – some were pleasant, some were me venting to Him.
An instant healing wouldn’t have taught me what I needed to learn. It wouldn’t have given me the time to develop skills and habits as I have. And so, as I look at where I am now and where I was two years ago when I was just starting this healing journey, I have to admit that much good has been worked through this period of waiting.
Of course, I’m still not completely at peace with having to wait. :) I still struggle with impatience, but I’m learning to see the goodness of God in my waiting. I’m seeing Romans 8:28 come to life. I’m seeing Him take things that are not good, things that are the result of an evil and fallen world, and redeem them into something good.
Honestly, I still won’t raise my hand when anyone asks: So, who enjoys waiting? But I will lean into Him, look for His goodness, and, like the disciples in Acts 1, remain busy while I wait.